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swingcat89
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Name: Annie
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Francisco
Gender: Female
Interests: music (playing music, listening to music, performing music =p), swing dancing, taking pictures, talking and hanging out with friends, learning languages (currently learning Spanish), reading, dyeing hair, trying new things, snowboarding (but not so good =p), traveling, and of course, loving God
Occupation: Education/training
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/21/2005
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| Missing real interaction...Lately, I've been feeling that my "social interactions" have been limited to the virtual world - Facebook, texting, blogs, and emails. Whatever happened to chilling in a coffee shop and chatting it up? Reminded me about a paper I wrote on cell phone culture...=) After a semester of doing research and asking random ppl on the street about their cell phones, I've come to a conclusion: that technological advances have stifled our inability to relate and have stunted our socio-emotional growth. Just the other day, I observed my family all in the same room, but not talking to each other...one was listening to her ipod, 2 on their laptops, 1 in front of the tv. Can't believe just 10 years ago "family time" would consist of walking in the park, going to the beach, having a bbq, etc. It's time to hit up those community venues again and invest in the only thing that will last on this earth - relationships.
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| Seeking confirmation...So often, we think we know what's best and forget that life is about faith - taking it one step at a time. God already is in control and sees the big picture...yet, why do we think we can run our own lives? Been learning that obedience isn't easy...right now, I feel like Jonah. I wanna run away and escape...think my current ministry position is stressing me out. I think it's partly when a volunteer disposition becomes paid, the fun and joy are no longer there. And then being in a Korean church has its own drama...maybe I should go back to my Chinese roots. Miss Canto ppl....but God's telling me that here is where He wants me...even if it kills me. Saying "yes" to one thing means "no" to others...got 3 other places asking me for help - San Jose, Hawaii, and even Hong Kong.
But it's clearly San Francisco right now because God's confirming it with each person He's placed in my life.
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| Keepin' it real...I think a large part of ministry involves initiating and just getting involved with ppl's lives...maybe that's why I have this reputation of being "busy" all the time...it's cuz I have too many ppl in my life and that I care too much. =p Had some unexpected hang out times this week with ppl I don't usually hang out with. Realized that when this happens, I need to:
#1 drop my agenda so I can make time for them and
#2 God's challenging me to love and listen to those who are totally different from me
One big lesson I've learned in seminary (as well as my ethnographic research in Thailand) is that everyone has a story, but we don't slow our lives down enough to listen and to care. I guess it was easy to find ppl in Thailand to interview cuz their lives aren't as fast-paced as here. There were plenty of women chilling at the marketplace that I developed friendships with. Ah, miss Chiang Mai.
Anyways, we're so quick to judge (usually on superficial terms) and then treat that person according to our assumptions. This week, I listened to two friends...and they shared their story. Surprisingly, both had sex and drugs as a part of their past...one even had some gangster connections. 10 years ago I probably would've been judgmental and legalistic and disassociate from "these ppl"...but now, I'm learning so much more about grace. Was I shocked to hear their story? No, not really...just glad that they trust me enough by being so vulnerable. The past is the past and now, we are all new creations in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:17). As my circle of friends expand, God's bringing me into new territory and I'm glad for this challenge...grew up as a sheltered church kid, so I don't know nothing about the real deal. But glad I've assimilated into my "ghetto" environment and can code-switch easily...that is, shedding my academic vernacular and adopting ghetto talk so I can chill and kick it in my hood. =p
Yeah, I'm tired of sheltered-momma's boy-prayers (prayers that are safe to share)...what's really going on? Please don't hesitate to share with me...I'd love to pray for you.
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| Contentment...Lately, I've been feeling quite discontent. Guess I've been disillusioned with unrealistic expectations after graduation...sad to say, I fell prey to the American dream. Was hoping that my 2 master degrees will lead to financially stability but God had greater lessons for me to learn.
He's been asking me:
Can you trust Me when you're currently making significantly less than your previous pre-grad school/secular employment life?
Do you believe that I have a plan for you when I called you to this little church near your house (with so many struggles and issues)...and that your ministry location is not Asia, but San Francisco?
Can you see that I'm developing your character by placing difficult ppl in your life?
Yes, that's what FAITH is all about...as a pastor friend puts it, it's Forsaking All, I Trust Him. It hasn't been easy, but there's nothing more exciting, more fulfilling, more meaningful in life than following Him. Like Job, I need to repent in ashes because I don't deserve anything...yes, Lord...I trust in You.
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| Vacation's over...I woke up this morning and got stressed thinking about the stuff that's waiting for me to get done when I'm back in the States...weddings to plan for (one in Hawaii...yup, still a wedding musician), music lessons to arrange, and church stuff...i think 2 weeks in Hong Kong is more than enough...got sick the other day while hanging out in Kowloon with some friends. =( I think it's cuz I've been eating, shopping, and hanging out non-stop...in addition, all the smog and 2nd hand smoke here just made it worse. Before, I was living the life of a nerd, always at home studying...now, it's hedonistic living...so my aunt dragged me to the doctor and he gave me a ton of pills...since I can't swallow, it's been torture...but I'm feeling much better. Anyways, I'm glad I got a chance to know my relatives better. Since they don't know God yet, I decided to skip church (yup, twice) just to spend more time with them. After all, like Jesus said, it's the sick who need healing, not the healthy. Well, the difficulty of living in a collectivistic society is that there's no privacy...(doesn't help that my room is the livingroom) =p But, I have been praying a lot more...when I'm in the shower, bathroom, and when I'm alone (which is rare). Do I want to come back and maybe settle here permanently? Maybe...so many more opportunities here for work and ministry. | | |
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