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swingcat89
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Name: Annie
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Francisco
Gender: Female
Interests: music (playing music, listening to music, performing music =p), swing dancing, taking pictures, talking and hanging out with friends, learning languages (currently learning Spanish), reading, dyeing hair, trying new things, snowboarding (but not so good =p), traveling, and of course, loving God
Occupation: Education/training
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/21/2005
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| These days, I feel semi-retired...not quite working the usual 40 hours/week (more like a few hours 7 days a week) so I do have some time to pick up new hobbies. =) Been learning the trumpet (I feel sorry for my family and neighbors =p) and Korean....anyways, I think I have a small streak of sadism inherent in me. Maybe it's the shame/guilt driven Asian cultural background, but lately I feel like I miss being in the rat race...sure, I'm not earning as much as I used to make, but I actually miss waking up early, getting dressed, and stressing out over all the stuff I need to get done. But it's good that God has pulled me out of the race and is teaching me to wait on Him. He probably knew cramming those 2 master degrees in 2.5 years wasn't healthy and now He's been closing all the doors to secular employment so I can spend more time enjoying His presence and ministering to ppl.
As I look around me, I'm sadden that everyone around me is so fast-paced, glued to their blackberries/Iphones and running around like a headless chicken. Weekends are packed with social activities and church responsibilities and during the week, it's crazy/hectic. No wonder relationships (esp. in the church) are suffering...we're beginning to see worship on Sundays as a fast-food stop before we head back into our crazy schedules.
Yes, I'm learning that busyness does not equate to productivity, and that does not define our self-worth.
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| This is one of the songs I sing at my friend's carehome...been thinking how God has led me this past year. It's definitely been a difficult journey. Like the quote in Spiderman, "with great power comes great responsibility", sometimes I wish didn't have this "power". But because God has called me to be a spiritual leader in a church (not just a side musician), I need to follow His calling. And right now, the stress and conflicts are causing me to lose sleep at night...sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Sometimes I wish I was just "normal" like everyone else...but He keeps reminding me that this is where He's called me and that He'll be with me. Just like the apostle Paul who was about to go to Rome and face more hardships, I agree that:
"I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Acts 20:24
I'm pressing on...=)
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| 2 weeks ago, some friends introduced me to gutter bowling...how it works is that the side rails go up and the goal is to get the lowest score. It's actually much harder than it looks. Cuz if the ball hits the side rails, it'll bounce (like in pool). As a result, it's quite easy to get strikes. =) Dude, I was surprised how high my scores were (I actually suck in bowling) =p Of course, I found theological implications in our simple game. How often do we aim low and then be satisfied with our goals? It's definitely easy to reach easy goals and then be content with our achievements. However in reality, we are allowing ourselves to fall into a cycle of mediocrity and forget that God has created us for a greater purpose. So these days, I've been grateful for the "sandpaper people" in my life (those who rub me the wrong way). Because of them, I've learned to develop more love and patience, as well as emotional endurance. I'm also grateful for those who initiate deep conversations...cuz life's too short to spend it on superficial pursuits and being content with knowing ppl just on a peripheral basis.
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| Lately, I've been feeling that my "social interactions" have been limited to the virtual world - Facebook, texting, blogs, and emails. Whatever happened to chilling in a coffee shop and chatting it up? Reminded me about a paper I wrote on cell phone culture...=) After a semester of doing research and asking random ppl on the street about their cell phones, I've come to a conclusion: that technological advances have stifled our inability to relate and have stunted our socio-emotional growth. Just the other day, I observed my family all in the same room, but not talking to each other...one was listening to her ipod, 2 on their laptops, 1 in front of the tv. Can't believe just 10 years ago "family time" would consist of walking in the park, going to the beach, having a bbq, etc. It's time to hit up those community venues again and invest in the only thing that will last on this earth - relationships.
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| So often, we think we know what's best and forget that life is about faith - taking it one step at a time. God already is in control and sees the big picture...yet, why do we think we can run our own lives? Been learning that obedience isn't easy...right now, I feel like Jonah. I wanna run away and escape...think my current ministry position is stressing me out. I think it's partly when a volunteer disposition becomes paid, the fun and joy are no longer there. And then being in a Korean church has its own drama...maybe I should go back to my Chinese roots. Miss Canto ppl....but God's telling me that here is where He wants me...even if it kills me. Saying "yes" to one thing means "no" to others...got 3 other places asking me for help - San Jose, Hawaii, and even Hong Kong.
But it's clearly San Francisco right now because God's confirming it with each person He's placed in my life.
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